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Tuesday, November 04, 2003

you're sitting in a diner alone. there's a couple sitting in front of you, a little to your right. they are in their 60's and having soup. she can't open her crackers and passes the little plastic package to him. he crushes it and tears it open. she smiles and nods. he carefully dumps it into her bowl of clam chowder.

have you ever wondered how a couple manages to stay together for 50 years or even more?

some people are allergic to that kind of comfort. they equate comfort and predictability with stagnation and boredom. some people can't live without more zest, more danger, more... drama? some people bounce from one lap to the next and even when they find someone to love and who loves them, they keep bouncing.
what are they looking for? do they want every encounter to involve being propped up on a bathroom sink and having their skirt ripped off? do they get a thrill from the chase and when they finally get caught feel let down?

i used to be like that. i think many people have had their taste of that. but then i met bryan and we've been together for the last 10 years (more or less). sure, we broke up a couple of times here and there for a day or a week or something stupid. i haven't always been an angel. he has stood by me through many hard times. i have stood by him as well. he is my best friend even though we don't see very much of each other these days. even so, it's comforting to know that he will arrive home each night. it's reassuring to know that he loves me even though i am far from perfect. i often wonder if anyone could really love me the way he loves me. he knows the real me. he knows the me that is honest and blunt; the me that's often whiney and childlike - the me that always gets her way. he has seen me at my lowest times, blubbering and sniffling and ugly. and he still loves me. we are bound together by experience and i can safely say he has seen too much!

sometimes i wonder what i'd be like if i never met bryan. i wonder where i would live and what i'd be doing right at this moment.