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Monday, April 28, 2003

overheard snippets of conversations from a sunday

we were walking through central park near the boat house.
a man around 55 with white hair--
"if you took the lyrical out of poetry; if you took the texture out of silk; if you took the composition out of painting, all you'd have left is a barbie asking you if you'd like another beer."

we were at GO on st. mark's place. sitting next to us was a table of hip 'intellectual' nerdy boys from minnesota.
they discussed, at length, the different states of food.
soggy, crunchy, wilted, moldy and frozen were all examined at great length. they decided frozen isn't really a food state since if you defrost something it goes back to its normal state.
nerdy boy with striped sweater and very dirty glasses--
"well what about nahchos, take nahchos for example; it's like all the food states at the same time. there's crunchy and soggy and hot and cold and every layer reveals a new mystery."

Thursday, April 24, 2003

The Symptoms of Inner Personal Peace:

A tendency to think and act deliberately, rather than from fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging others.
A loss of interest in judging self.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of ability to worry.
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contended feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling through the heart.
Increasing susceptibility to kindness offered, and the uncontrollable urge to reciprocate.
An increasing tendency to allow things to unfold, rather than resisting and manipulating.

Wednesday, April 23, 2003

i had a splendid day today thrifting with kim. i'm not much of a savvy shopper these days but kim is gradually teaching me the ways of the bargain. i seem to have this uncontrollable radar for the most ugly pieces of clothing on the rack. it amuses me. i found 2 shirts and a dress i need to have taken in. one shirt is a tee shirt. the other two items have very unique patterns.
shopping makes you tired so after a couple hours we stopped off at a diner for a little bacon snack. she had a BLT and i had a BL because i hate T. no mayo please. the diner was a good pick as their bacon was magnifique. we continued on, and went to several discount shoe places. i tried on a few pairs of sandals for the heck of it and convinced kim to buy a pair of $10 slip-on ballet style canvas shoes with rubber toes. she shook her fist at me claiming i was a bad influence. muahaha.
we got all shopped out and were hungry again after browsing the beauty supply store. we headed to her neck of the woods (the burg) for dinner at SEA, the much-hyped thai place. it was hype-worthy in my opinion and especially so being that we went when it wasn't busy and service was prompt and the bathrooms had no lines. i had the old reliable pad thai and my favorite spicy green papaya salad. cheap eats! the noodles were $7; the salad was $4; the wine was $4. amazing. i am loving it but too bad it's so damn far awaaaay.
i had to shower when i got home because i smelled like a thrift store. i think i'm obsessed with being clean but that's ok since we don't pay for water.

Sunday, April 20, 2003

alcohol is just not something my body can process. it wreaks havoc on my entire system. it pollutes me. friday night me and bryan met J. at this new sushi place in midtown. she had salad and we had several rolls. we headed over to the russian vodka room where i partook in 8 ounces of cranberry infused vodka and shared some gravalox and potato pancakes with bry. then we went to mcgee's where i proceded to have 2 vanilla vodkas w/ coke and fistfuls of steak fries. it was as if i was trying to kill my stomach or something.
all day yesterday we cooked since we did the usual dinner for the family (father, brother, brother's gf, and sister). bryan made PAELLA for the very first time which was delicious. he threw in mussels, clams, squid, shrimp, and scallops. yum. i made tortilla pie and he also made guac. dessert was ice cream.
at around midnight i decided it was just wrong that we had zero easter candy so we ventured out into the night to find some. we walked about 2 miles and upon realizing the CVS was closed, took the train back home and stopped off at the deli for some Caramello bars. i figured it was close enough, being Cadbury brand just like the eggs.
it's a gorgeous sunny day today and i'm trying to decide what to do with it. job search now or later? i should enjoy the sun first but how can i do so without spending money? i want my toenails painted.


You cannot accomplish anything all by yourself. You need other people to help you realize and make your dreams happen. Learning how to accept this is the hardest part.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

tuesday's highlight:

-i ran 5! miles without dying. 5!!!!

yesterday's highlights:

-going to the empty by normal standards price club and being able to try all 543498 free samples with susie.

-tooling around long island with the windows down as my hair turned into a rats nest and i took off my shoes and stuck my foot out the window.

-almost finishing my pink skirt except for the waist.

-laundry/scrabble party!

today's lowlight:

-sore throat and plans for running nixxed. may do some yoga.

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

Exercise more.

These two words have been on my to-do list for years. I have dabbled in it from time to time but not enough to feel honest in crossing it off my list. It's not like I'm horribly out of shape, I just want to feel stronger. I want to be able to do push-ups and pilates without dying. I want to be able to lift heavy objects and open any and every stuck jar lid. I want to feel as though I can defend myself.

I wasn't picked last in gym class but it was pretty close. I was picked 3rd to last because I was known to drop the ball. I was clumsy, I was oblivious, and I was clearly not as cut-throat as the other gals. I was a swimmer though, and spent every day of every summer at the community swimming pool. I took years of lessons and nearly became a lifeguard but I simply wasn't committed to doing all the necessary laps. I still love the water. And I had my bike. I was a bike-ridin' tomboy of a kid. Every day after school me and my bike took off and played with the neighborhood kids 'til the street lights turned on. I want a bike now but I'm afraid to ride it on the city streets. I want a bike trail. I did tennis for awhile and still have my racquet. I want to start playing again.

I joined a gym a few years ago and kept my membership for almost a year. It was Lucille Roberts, the least popular and least expensive gym in town. I did the treadmill and the bike. I did arm weights and took a kickboxing class here and there but the gym atmosphere never motivated me. I never really pushed myself hard enough to see the results I wanted. And it was dull.
I really like yoga, though. When I practice it I can feel what it does to my body. It opens me up and helps me breathe properly. I love to feel the stretch. I need to buy a yoga mat badly.

I'm going running tonight at the park with Christine. This will be the second time and surprisingly the first time wasn't as painful as I was expecting. I did get a cramp in my side but I worked through it and was able to jog/run 3 miles!

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

more quotes from many years ago

"The secret of being miserable is to have leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not. The cure for it is occupation."
-George Bernard Shaw

"Someone who feels views life as a tragedy, someone who thinks views life as a comedy."

"Time wounds all heels."

"Organize the chaos of your passions and live creatively."

"Friends come and go. Enemies accumulate."

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness. Broad, wholesome and charitable views cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth."
-Mark Twain

"Divine souls suffer violent opposition from mediocre minds."
-Albert Einstein

"I would never join a club that would have me as a member."
-Groucho Marx

Wednesday, April 09, 2003

(i originally tried posting this april 9th)
it's highly depressive and whiney.
i want a job but i don't want to take the subway to and from work every day.
it's such a depressing place. everyone always looks so sad.
and i hate it and it smells.
i have grown obsessive-compulsive about my wallet and it's whereabouts whenever i go out in public to buy something. if i go to the bank it's 10 times worse. when will i stop being afraid that someone's going to steal it again? i guess never.
i need to find a way to make money that doesn't involve cubicles. i miss my own paycheck. i miss having my own money. the only things i've thought of doing so far are getting paid to take pictures and/or making things and selling them.
i really wonder where my passion went.
nothing really interests me these days except for bryan and his family.
i don't go out of my way to be social.
too many things i was supposed to do this week involve alcohol.
drinking is just such a bad idea right now.

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Quotes I Do Enjoy

"From birth to age 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on she needs good cash." - S.T.

"Immature love says 'I love you because I need you.'. Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.'."

"Hating people is like burning down your own house to get rid of a rat." - H.E.F.

"Ergo Cogito Sum" - Descartes

"If you keep doing things like you've always done them, what you'll get is what you've already got."

"Life is what happens to us while we're making other plans." - John Lennon

"Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends."

"Look, I really don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive, you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, you've got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death." - Mel Brooks

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

A - Act your age? No, thank God.
B - Born on what day of the week? Thursday's child has far to go;
C - Chore you hate? Laundry and dishes.
D - Daily habit? Breakfast is a must.
E - Essential makeup item? Concealer.
F - Favorite drink? Water.
G - Gold or silver? Silver or white gold or platinum.
H - Hate? Job searching. Interviews.
I - In the morning...I need a very long shower. It's my peaceful place.
J - Job title? Lover, Picture Taker, Writer, Home Maker.
K - Kids? Probably, but not any time soon.
L - Living arrangements? One bedroom apartment with my boyfriend of 9.5 years.
M - Mom's name? Linda.
N - Number of people you've slept with? Loose lips sink ships.
O - Overnight hospital stays? Zero.
P - Phobia? Driving. Getting lost.
Q - Quote you like? Tough titty said the kitty but the milk's just fine. - Linda.
R - R....? Rabbits. I'm so over them.
S - Siblings? 2 brothers from different mothers AND fathers.
T - Time you wake up? Oh, it depends. Usually, too late.
U - Unique habit? I can only sleep on my stomach.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat? Brussel Sprouts.
W - Worst habit? I am too critical.
X - X-rays you've had? Wrist, ankles, hand, toe. I was a clumsy teenager.
Y - Yummy food you make? Roasted chicken. Homemade Spaghetti Sauce. Steamed and broiled fish. Chicken and biscuits. My own version of Tabbouleh. A lot of things.
Z - Zodiac Sign? Taurus. Year of the Rabbit.