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Wednesday, May 26, 2004

eat it

last night we saw supersize me and then we had sushi. i feel pretty good about it.
there's always been this part of me that's wanted to move to the woods and live on nuts and berries and not "need" all these "things". i'm just a simple girl, really.
for starters, i hate the gap. also, i believe that SUVs are the devil and if i ever get another car it will be little and efficient. on the other hand, i work for a huge company that produces most of its clothing in tiny little third world countries and i'm sure they aren't paying the seamstresses what they should be or treating them very nicely. the underbelly of so much of everything we take in each day is dirty. i guess the first step is to be aware of it and learn as much about it as we can and stop supporting the most evil parts.
like i was saying over here, we live such overcomplicated lives these days. we are so busy trying to get ahead all we ever do is step on everybody's toes and disregard humanity. fuck you, man! fuck everyone except me! who gives a damn, right? get outta my way, i'm going places! it's the "me me me" mentality. go out there and make as much money as possible so you can have all kinds of crap and then you will finally be happy. well i don't buy into it.
all the facials and shoes and haircuts in the world haven't cured this empty feeling i have.
no job will ever make me enough money to "discover myself".
it's all a big crock of shite.
it's too bad i feel this way because it's making my life a lot more difficult than most people. most people are all about getting that big paying job with the important title and all that. i'm all about finding happiness and i already know that it's not in some corner office.
i want to work at something meaningful. i want to actually care about what i do every day.
and i don't care what it takes to find it.

Sunday, May 23, 2004

the internet is a magnificent waste of time!
i'd elaborate but it would take too much effort and waste too much time.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

i have updated the favorites section of this weblog with some very important information.

also, i would like to tell everyone that i never balance my checkbook because I LIKE IT UNBALANCED.
just like me.

called out sick from work this morning. today's excuse: migraine. when will i get the balls to quit?
things just keep popping up where i need cash and i can't see getting by without it for any period of time. like next month, i have joni's wedding in hilton head. 2 plane tickets plus 4 nights in a hotel room = over $1000 and that excludes other expenses like food and entertainment and cabs. there's always some hurdle. i think i'm trying to get 'let go' so perhaps i'll be able to receive unemployment in the event i am unable to find something else right away. but i don't even feel like "something else" will make me happy. no office job can ever make me happy. i need something better than that but what? i've been at this job for almost an entire year- a year of utter waste. i need to wake up and stop wasting my time and my life because it's really starting to effect me on a deeper level. i feel depressed and my health is starting to suffer for it.
i feel like i've been doing the running man for the last 5 years. running but getting nowhere.
god, i'm such a downer.

let's talk about something FUN!! oh, for any of you who 'livejournal', this blog is now syndicated and you can add it to your friends list by going to i am an internerd! :) keep reading, i'm sure i'll get out of this pit of despair sometime soon.
hope for me.

Monday, May 03, 2004

check 1 2 3 check ccheck.