weekend highlights:
friday: blew almost all my paycheck on underwear and presents for people. went to the library and rented movies for free! watched 'before night falls'. wow. saturday: challah french toast, talked on the phone [a rarity for me], yogaed, went to a party and played taboo. drank too much wine and someone told me i look like parker posey. sunday: slept late, bagels and lox delivered to our door, williamsburgh excursion, photo taking, sushi yum.
now: denying that tomorrow is monday. puh.

good advice

from my book, "what should i do with my life?":

people who don't have passions don't struggle.

you will never open up to your own gifts until you are able to turn off your need to prove your worth by other people's yardstick.

if you're stuck on impressing people, at least impress people you admire, rather than people you hate.

pantaloons for you, me, everybody


this topic has been coming up a lot lately. relationships: who is it that wears the pants?
there are struggles - hell yes. i don't know any wards or junes. do you? most fights revolve around the following three things:

1. money
2. time spent together/apart and is it enough/too much
3. the equal sharing of chores and responsibilities

i don't know about you but i don't want to be anybody's mommy. well, unless they come out of my chachi, that is. i don't like nagging nobody. i don't like bickering about the dishes. it's nonsense and a waste of my time. men can have so many excuses about these things and none of them are valid. is this a life anyone wants to live? at work today a girlfriend of mine was practically crying to me because her boyfriend is a lunkhead about the chores. what can you do? if a boy/man wasn't raised to take part in housey things then is there no hope? men have been conditioned to expect women to take care of all that junk but darnit, this is the 21st century and last time i checked, we all have two hands and two feet and are equally capable of doing menial tasks like brushing the toilet bowl.

i guess this is what housekeepers are for. they keep more than the house. it's the peace we're after.

have you ever had a banana stick around so long that it got so ripe that when you touched it it broke in half and mush oozed out and there was a pool of leeched juice under it all?


i have.

the first music i listened to, like really listened to, was michael jackson. then queen. then the village people. then debbie gibson and tiffany and 38 special and phil collins and janet jackson and the woodstock album.
...then vanilla ice and after that i was saved. or rather, after that i had to be saved.
thankfully, i was rescued by the cure and the violent femmes and the smiths and the misfits and many many other bands that frightened my parents. i even threw in some cannibal corpse and christian death to really upset them. it was only a phase.
college brought me leonard cohen and frank zappa and ween and beck and the pixies and so much fun crazy music. i went through a period where i only listened to female voices like ani difranco and bjork and lush and hole but you can only do that for so long. there was sad music, too, like sitting in my dark room listening to radiohead or portishead or any other band ending in the word 'head'. i was a radio dj so i had access to any and everything. black sabbath records were played backwards and scratched to, roger miller was discovered and memorized. bands i'd never even heard of that had come and gone and left no mark were listened to, if only for having fun names like "elvis hitler".
the music you listen to throughout your life forms a soundtrack and mine feels like it's been on repeat forever. i haven't discovered any earthshaking bands in some time now. i think it's been at least 5 years since i've bought a CD and played it more than 3 times.

for dinner tonight, i had a large plate of meats.
after running for an hour, of course. so it was okay.

M E A T S

in a van down by the river

sometimes, the employed lisa really misses the unemployed lisa.
i used to have time to think about all kinds of things. i used to have time to cook.
now all i ever do is buy stuff and talk about buying stuff and spending money. it's ever so dull.
but at least i have the skills to pay the bills, i guess. and new stuff. yawn.


a stranger in passing

how bizarre is this?
i walked into work a little late and someone called my name in the lobby. i turn around and it's kelly massey, a girl i went to high school with. i haven't seen her in 10 years and she recognized me. she's in the building today because she's a buyer for macy's in atlanta, georgia and is in town for market.
how crazy?!??
this happens to me once every few years.


? [random]

i need to be more proactive.
i hate that word but it's the only word that adequately describes the direct opposite of lazy and SUCK.


Dean and Gene

WEEEN!!! is playing at roseland on november 1st and i MUST GO SEE THEM!
ween IS and was my last year of college and i am queen of nostalgia.
in fact, i hardly listen to them anymore cuz they make me so darn nostalgic but THIS i cannot miss.

if you do not know ween, or are quick to dismiss ween, i am sad for you. they make the happy.
http://www.ween.net/audio2.htm

listen to their more recent things and then listen to something like "i drink a lot" or "weed whore" or "cover it with gas".
i love "she wanted to leave" and "the mollusk". oh hell, i love it all.

***UPDATE***

i will never go to large venue concert ever again. every single dirty pot-smoking bad hairdo wearing college asshole was there and they were all pressing up against me and i wanted to stick pins in their eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, yeah.

[random]

it?s a full moon.

i do not know why, but this song gets stuck in my head A LOT.


Kind of a drag
When your baby don't love you
Kind of a drag
When you know she's been untrue
Oh oh, listen to what I've gotta to say
Girl, I still love you
I'll always love you
Anyway, anyway, anyway
Kind of a drag
When your baby says goodbye
Kind of a drag
When you feel like you want to cry
Girl, even though you make me feel blue
I still love you
I'll always love you
Anyway, Anyway, Anyway
Oh, listen to what I've gotta say
Girl, I still love you
I'll always love you
Anyway, anyway, anyway

tonight, my mom basically told me to get a life. and she's right, because i don't really have one. i've been neglecting it for a while now.
GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU USELESS LAZY FUCKING ASSHOLE SELFISH BITCH!!
yeah.
i have a feeling this means i'm going to have to throw down some $$$.